Being Strong Isn’t Safe: The Cost of "Powering Through"
A Mental Health Awareness Month reflection on how high-achieving professionals—especially women of color—are taught to push through, even when it hurts.
We can't always express it, but many of us know the feeling: the tightness in our chests when the Sunday scaries hit, the sleepless nights, even when we're beyond exhausted, or the quiet ache of feeling unseen and unheard. For many ambitious professionals, especially women of color, the workplace is not just stressful. It's unsafe.
Whether you've dealt with a toxic boss, experienced team isolation, or slowly lost your confidence, the impact is real. Psychological safety is not a buzzword—it's a non-negotiable. Without it, our well-being in the workplace suffers deeply.
The Cost of "Powering Through"
Too often, we're encouraged to push through harmful environments instead of pausing to ask for what we truly need. For women of color, resilience is taught early and framed as a badge of honor. We're told to be grateful for the opportunity, toughen up, and power through—no matter the cost. But what's the price, really?
It often starts with the feeling that you always have to be “on” and constantly alert, pushing yourself to prove your worth. Over time, that pressure builds, leading to chronic stress, anxiety, insomnia, physical symptoms, and eventually, burnout. The even greater challenge is that it's not always visible and easily dismissed, even by us.
Let's be clear: burnout is not a personal failure. It signals that something is out of alignment, no longer working, and needs to change, and soon.
What Psychological Safety Really Means
Psychological safety is about being respected and protected. It's being free to show up fully as yourself. It looks like:
Speaking up without fear of retaliation
Owning your space without shrinking, self-editing, or code-switching to fit in
Making mistakes without fear of punishment
Taking a pause without guilt
Being valued for who you are, and not just what you produce
For women, especially women of color, that space is rarely offered. Instead, we are expected to be "twice as good" or bounce back with grace, even when we are unraveling inside.
How to Know When It's Time to Go
As an executive coach and career branding strategist, I work with many brilliant professionals who appear to have it all together while carrying invisible burdens. When transitions hit, a layoff, pivot, or sudden shift, people don't just need a résumé refresh or a new LinkedIn headline. They need a safe space to land.
The question that often surfaces is this: Will I be safe here, or just successful? I know the feeling. I ignored the signs in my own journey and ended up in a health crisis that forced me to stop, listen, and reevaluate everything. So, if you're wondering whether it's time to shift direction, here are a few signs to watch for:
You're afraid to speak up or ask for support
Your values feel misaligned or ignored
Your body is speaking through fatigue, anxiety, headaches, or apathy
You're shrinking, not growing
If any of this sounds familiar, it may be time to rethink your relationship with work and give yourself the space, grace, and permission to choose differently.
Rebuilding After a Toxic Work Experience
Leaving a toxic work environment won’t instantly restore your confidence, but it can be the first step toward healing. Here's what can help in the healing and reinvention process:
Reflect on what you learned: What did your experience teach you about your needs, boundaries, and values?
Reclaim your story: You are not defined by what happened to you. Your career story is still yours to define.
Get support: Whether it’s coaching, therapy, or a trusted sister circle—lean into whatever helps you feel seen, grounded, and strong again.
Redefine your goals: What kind of leader are you becoming? What kind of space do you want to work in or create?
You don't have to have it all figured out. You just have to believe that your future can feel different than your past.
You're Not Alone
If you're navigating a career shift after a toxic work experience, I see you. You don't have to carry it all on your own. You're honoring your well-being. You're choosing yourself. That is true leadership.
Feeling Inspired?
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